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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485930">nine kisses and three hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/justadreamfox/pseuds/justadreamfox'>justadreamfox</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>finders keepers [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Andrew is soft, Fluff, Kandreil - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, They are all soft, ace!kevin, canon-ish?, it's coronavirus times - here have a fic to make you happy, that's what I do</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:41:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,306</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485930</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/justadreamfox/pseuds/justadreamfox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Andrew and Kevin and Neil - things happen a little differently, but they come together in the end.</p><p>In other words, some fluffy Kandreil to soothe your quarantined heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kevin Day/Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>finders keepers [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>447</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nine kisses and three hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A big thank you to my betafish <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/grownupYAFlover/">grownupyaflover</a> and my grammar-beta <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/makebelieveanything/">makebelieveanything</a></p><p>Also to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdzeword/">nerdzeword</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikotheamazingspoonklepto/">Nikotheamazingspoonklepto</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficwriterfirefly/">ficwriterfirefly</a> for keeping me in my lane with a read through &lt;3.</p><p>All remaining mistakes are my own!</p><p>TW for brief description of a panic attack - everything else should be way less than canon.</p><p>Edited Note: yes, it is purposeful that Neil has a 3 on his cheek :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I.</p><p>The first time Andrew kissed Kevin it was unexpected - until it wasn’t. </p><p>They had been inseparable for a year, orbiting around each other, Kevin either deep in the throes of his anxiety or high and mighty on the exy court, but always arranging himself around Andrew. </p><p>When Kevin had swallowed enough liquid courage to cover Riko’s tattoo with his own defiance, Andrew had gathered him up off the floor of Wymack’s apartment, brought him back to their dorm, pressed his thumb into the hollow of Kevin’s cheek just below the new tattoo and said, “Finally.” </p><p>The next night - with much less vodka in his system - Kevin had gazed at him wonderingly as he leaned towards him, hazel eyes glowing gold as Andrew gained his “yes” and then captured his lips in an achingly sweet kiss. Kevin’s battered heart had whispered <em> of course. </em> </p><p>II.</p><p>The second time Andrew kissed Kevin it was expected - until it wasn’t. </p><p>They had beaten the Ravens, taken down Riko, won the championships. Kevin was free and he was exuberant with it. He had watched the fire catch in Andrew’s eyes as he fought to shut down the goal, as his talent roared in the face of that challenge. <em> Yes. </em> This is what he wanted for his friend, this is what they had been fighting for. </p><p>When they snuck away from the Foxes’ celebrations that night, Andrew pulled him up the stairs and out onto the roof, pressed him into the ground, his mouth rough and hungry, his hands insistent on Kevin’s body, and suddenly Kevin felt trapped, confused. He pushed against him and Andrew froze, pulled back, waited. </p><p>Whatever Andrew saw in his eyes - or didn’t see - had him standing, turning away from Kevin, closing off. Catching his breath, Kevin’s words wouldn’t come, couldn’t explain, and Andrew nodded once into the distance and left him there. </p><p>III.</p><p>The third time Andrew kissed Kevin almost didn’t happen - until it did. </p><p>It had taken weeks - no, months - after that night on the roof to sort it out. Kevin watched Andrew close off from him, from exy, that fire he had seen at the championship game extinguished - the brief touches they used to share gone. Their orbit remained, but stretched thin - Andrew clearly committed to his promise to protect Kevin, but from a distance. </p><p>For the first time since their first kiss, Andrew led Roland into that back room at Edens, and Kevin stared after them while his heart tried to drown itself in his chest. The energy in the car was molten that night, and Nicky and Aaron had quickly retreated upstairs when Kevin slammed into the house behind Andrew. </p><p>“What,” Andrew said, after watching Kevin storm around the kitchen for several moments. </p><p>Kevin pulled a mug out of the cabinet, slammed it shut, paused, put the mug back, slammed it shut again. He braced his hands on the counter, closed his eyes, breathed out slowly. “Roland,” he finally said. “Is that what you want?”</p><p> “I want nothing,” Andrew quipped. </p><p><em> Fucking predictable. </em>Kevin turned to head for his couch, to curl up and hide, but Andrew grabbed his arm, turned him around, stared him down. </p><p>“What is this Kevin? You don’t get to be jealous when you’ve made it clear that you don’t want <em> this</em>,” Andrew bit out. He said <em> this </em> but Kevin heard <em> me</em>. </p><p>Kevin’s eyes grew wide as he stared at his friend. “Is that what you think happened?” </p><p>“It’s what happened,” Andrew said.</p><p>“No,” Kevin rushed out, frustrated. “No it’s not, I just - I don’t want to do those...things...with anyone.”</p><p>Andrew narrowed his eyes the tiniest bit. “Explain,” he demanded. </p><p>“Sex. It’s just not a thing for me,” Kevin tried, slumping against the wall. </p><p>“You told me yes.” Andrew’s gaze was guarded.</p><p>Kevin nodded slowly. “It was a yes. Until it was a no. The kisses are okay, I just don’t...I don’t want more than that.”</p><p>Andrew’s jaw clenched. “So I pushed you,” he said, his voice toneless. Anger flashed in his eyes, but Kevin knew he wasn’t angry at him. </p><p>“No. That is not what I meant.” Kevin closed his eyes for a brief moment. Sighed. Ran his free hand across his face. <em> Fuck it. </em> </p><p>“I didn’t realize it until that night on the roof. I’ve just never felt about anyone how I feel about you and I thought maybe I could want that - otherwise I would have told you!”</p><p>“And how do you think you feel about me?” Andrew asked. </p><p>He’d already leapt off the building, he might as well turn it into a swan dive. “You are my person. You will always be my person. But I can’t do for you what...I can’t do what Roland does.”</p><p>“Don’t always me,” Andrew said, but there was no heat in it. “So what do you want Kevin?”</p><p>“I want to kiss you,” Kevin breathed quietly.</p><p>Andrew didn’t say anything for so long that Kevin thought this was it, he had really lost this, had lost Andrew - if he’d ever even had him, and his heart was well and truly on its way to shattering when something resolved in those honeyed hazel eyes and Andrew reached up slowly, pressed his thumb into Kevin’s cheek - just below the small black Queen tattooed there. </p><p>Andrew paused, Kevin’s breathing hitched, and then Andrew was pulling him down, pressing his lips against his, and Kevin’s heart melted, seared itself back together. <em> This is what I want, </em> his heart sighed.  </p><p>It wasn’t easy after that, but it was better - and it kept getting better. Their orbit tightened, the slight touches returned. If Kevin wished for more affection than Andrew could give him, well, he needed what Andrew <em> could </em>give him more. If Andrew wanted the sex that he wasn’t getting - and he assured Kevin brusquely that it was fine - Andrew still continued to choose Kevin, over and over again. </p><p>Kevin had tried a couple of times - offered - but Andrew would only shake his head, press his hand to Kevin’s arm or cheek and kiss him softly - a softness no one but Kevin got to see. </p><p>The Foxes didn’t understand it, but they accepted it. When Kevin explained one day, haltingly, to his father, Wymack had listened quietly and then promised that he was happy for him.</p><p>Most days found them on the court, Kevin shouting at Andrew, and Andrew impassively leaning on his racquet, occasionally flipping Kevin off.  Most nights found him tucked in to Andrew’s side, safe and loved - even if those words weren’t spoken - the actions were there. For Kevin it was enough. Safe and loved and <em> home. </em> </p><p>The two years passed too fast, and in a blink of an eye the Foxes gained a second championship title, garnered the attention of multiple pro teams and suddenly Kevin and Andrew had graduated and were separated by 600 miles.</p><p>It took three years before they were able to finagle contracts for the same team, to work their way through the bullshit and the ranks to find themselves - finally, <em> finally </em> - moving in together in New York, Kevin starting striker and Andrew starting goalie for the Wolverines.</p><p>IV.</p><p>The first time Kevin kissed Neil had been another lifetime ago. </p><p>When Kevin and Andrew joined the Wolverine’s roster, Neil had already been their starting striker for three years - the small number 3 tattooed on his cheek a mockery to a fallen empire, but his skill a testament to the training that empire had beaten into him. </p><p>Of course, Neil and Kevin had history - growing up side by side in the Raven’s nest until Riko had crushed Kevin’s hand and he had broken free, and then a year later Riko had been killed and Neil and Jean had fled to the Trojans - eighty percent of their earnings belonging to the Moriyamas but their freedom and their lives in hand. </p><p>Kevin hadn’t spoken more than a word or two to him then, but their teams had met on the court time and time again, and Neil would find Kevin’s green eyes seeking him out, their depths unfathomable. </p><p>Jean had eventually found solace in Jeremy, and Neil told himself he was just happy to be free, even if he was alone. But at night, when he closed his eyes, he remembered being back at the Nest, Kevin’s long limbs wrapped around him, stroking his hair, whispering comfort. At night, when he closed his eyes, he remembered the one time Kevin had smiled at him softly, brushed his bangs away from his eyes, and kissed him. </p><p>V.</p><p>The second time Kevin kissed Neil, it was Neil’s fault. </p><p>Even after so many years apart, they fell seamlessly into a dance with each other on the court: a two-striker tornado that swept through the bewildered defenses of the Penguins, the Turtles, the Wildcats. It was joyous. </p><p>Before Kevin and Andrew, Neil had floundered out here on his own, crawling deeper and deeper into himself, but now, everywhere Neil went, one had become three - Kevin and Andrew and Neil. Neil slowly crawled back out of himself, blossomed in his renewed friendship with Kevin, felt safe under the watchful eye of Andrew. </p><p>It happened during one of their night practices in off season, just Neil and Kevin running through old Raven drills for fun, while Andrew lounged in the stands with a book. Neil said something snarky about the rookie lineup for the New Jersey Wildcats - their closest rivals - and Kevin laughed and wrapped his sweaty arms around him and pulled him and his racket in close. </p><p>Neil sighed, <em> home, this was home, </em> and when Kevin pulled back, smiling affectionately down at him, Neil wasn’t thinking, couldn’t think - he dropped his racket and leaned up towards Kevin. Kevin met him halfway and kissed him, and Neil’s little rabbit heart leapt. It was a moment, two, and then Kevin reared back, his eyes shot to the stands, and Neil turned to look, and Andrew was gone. <em> Fuck. </em> </p><p>Kevin ran after Andrew, and after a moment’s hesitation, Neil followed him. He found his friends in the parking lot, Kevin leaning against the Maserati with a miserable look on his face, and Andrew calmly smoking one of his rare cigarettes that he saved for - well apparently for when his boyfriend kissed some asshole right in front of him. </p><p>Neil’s heart was pounding so loudly in his chest he thought it would leap out of his throat. No one was saying anything, and Neil was intruding - he knew he was, and he should go. He turned, his feet concrete, prepared to walk away from his only real friends, from the circle that felt like home, from the home he had fucked up, and -</p><p>- and Neil started gasping and he didn’t know why and he couldn’t get air, and fuck, <em> fuck </em> he was having a panic attack, <em> not now </em> and -</p><p>A firm, warm hand wrapped around the back of his neck. </p><p>“Breathe,” Andrew commanded in his ear, pressing down, and suddenly Kevin was in front of him too, a hand on each elbow, guiding him to the ground, and he sat as Andrew kept pushing until Neil’s head was between his own knees.</p><p>“In for four - <em> now </em> Neil - one, two, three, four. Now out for four. One, two, three, four.” Andrew’s voice was even. Neil breathed. His heart clamored a little less loudly. </p><p>“Fuck,” Neil’s voice was shaky. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“And what, exactly, are you apologizing for? Kissing my boyfriend, or losing your shit over it?” Andrew asked calmly.</p><p>Neil snapped his gaze up at that. Andrew hadn’t sounded angry - not that he ever really <em> sounded </em> anything - but Neil had learned his subtle inflections, his little tells over the last year. Kevin’s expression had eased somewhat too, and he was watching Andrew’s face carefully. If anything, Andrew had sounded <em> amused</em>.</p><p>Neil stared at him, stunned. Andrew’s hand was still pressed to the back of Neil’s neck and he reached the other to press into Kevin’s cheek. Andrew huffed. “How did you two not realize this was happening?” </p><p>Neil looked at Kevin. Kevin was looking at Andrew, his mouth hanging open a little stupidly. Neil’s brain was scrambling to keep up, to put together pieces that felt just out of reach, and he was grabbing at them clumsily. </p><p>Andrew sighed. “What, did you two break completely? Clearly we need to talk, and I need a drink. We’re going home and Neil - you are coming with us.”</p><p>VI.</p><p>The third time Kevin kissed Neil it was like falling into orbit. </p><p>It was easier than it should have been, after that. Wrapped in Kevin’s too-big hoodie after Andrew had pushed him towards the shower in their guest room, Neil curled up in the middle of their giant leather couch with a small glass of Andrew’s whiskey warm in his hand. </p><p>Andrew asked Neil if he wanted to date them - both of them. Neil’s mind tumbled, he gaped at Andrew, and turned to Kevin - but Kevin was calm, his eyes hopeful, and he assured him that he and Andrew had talked while Neil was in the shower, and yes, this was what they wanted. If he wanted. <em> If Neil wanted...of course he wanted. </em></p><p>Neil nodded. “Yes,” he croaked. Cleared his throat, tried again. “Yes, I want that.”</p><p>Kevin grinned at him, took his whiskey out of his hand to set it on the coffee table, and then pulled him into his arms, and Neil melted bonelessly against him. He heard Andrew set his own glass down, felt that steady hand on the back of his neck. Neil sighed deeply.</p><p>“We’ll have to talk about things, boundaries and you know…” Kevin said softly into Neil’s hair. “There are pieces to figure out.” Neil nodded against him and then pulled back a little. </p><p>“Right now?” he asked.</p><p>Andrew eyed him, sliding his hand around to thumb at what were probably deep circles under Neil’s eyes. “It’s late, so tomorrow.” He turned to look at Kevin and nodded before getting up, swiping his glass from the table, and heading off down the hall. “Goodnight junkies,” Andrew called over his shoulder. </p><p>Kevin grabbed Neil’s chin and tilted his face up, those green, green eyes staring intently into his. “Is this really okay?” Kevin asked gently. </p><p>“More than okay,” Neil promised. </p><p>Kevin’s smile was so bright that it took Neil’s breath away. “Stay then - the guest bedroom I mean. We can talk more tomorrow.” </p><p>Neil nodded, closed his eyes as Kevin pulled him in gently, purposefully, and kissed him. </p><p>“Welcome home, Neil,” he whispered against Neil’s lips, and Neil’s heart whispered back <em> home. </em> </p><p>VII.</p><p>The first time Neil kissed Andrew, it devastated Andrew.</p><p>It had been a surprising conversation for all three of them, but they managed through it and Andrew had been oddly proud of Kevin. The two of them had navigated their own relationship in bits and pieces over the last few years, but this was new and different and uncharted. </p><p>Kevin explained his boundaries to Neil, and Neil had nodded - mentioned he figured out as much from their time at the Nest together. Andrew made it clear to Neil how important consent was for him, the use of yes or no to get their bearings. The redhead had taken it all in easily, clear eyed and serious. When Andrew asked him about his own boundaries, Neil had hesitated, hedged, a bit of darkness creeping into his icy blue eyes before he’d fumbled through the explanation that he didn’t know, yet, but he’d like to figure it out. </p><p>Kevin thought maybe Neil should spend some time alone with Andrew. “A date,” he had concluded, like he was inventing the concept. Andrew had glared at Kevin, but Kevin had just grinned back, and Andrew realized he needed to polish his glares if they had so little effect these days. </p><p>Instead, he took the gorgeous idiot that he and his boyfriend were now dating out, and realized it was indeed the first time he was alone with Neil, without Kevin. They didn’t make it far before Neil turned to him, asked him yes or no, kissed him - licking his way into Andrew’s mouth, keeping his hands to himself but moaning when Andrew pushed his own hands into those red curls. </p><p>When they finally pulled apart Neil laughed breathily, “Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do that for a really long time.”</p><p>Andrew stared at him, dazed - though he’d never admit it. “So it’s not just Kevin for you,” he said carefully. It wasn’t really a question after that <em> moan.  </em></p><p>Those blue eyes pierced him and Neil smirked and - <em> good fucking god </em> Andrew had forgotten what reciprocated sexual desire felt like. It was <em> intoxicating. </em></p><p>VIII.</p><p>The second time Neil kissed Andrew, it set them both aflame.</p><p>They were navigating things, spending time all three of them together - which was familiar. Neil and Kevin had an easy affection - hugs and handholding, their lithe bodies constantly pressed against each other, stealing soft kisses. </p><p>Andrew didn’t find ease in such casual touch, but his hand pressed here and there against Kevin’s back as it always did, and he started to carve out space for Neil too - a hand at the back of his neck, or tucking those fucking bangs behind his ear. In Andrew’s mind certain touches belonged to one or the other of them - he only pressed his thumb into Kevin’s cheek - never Neil’s; he only gripped Neil’s wrist to tug him along - never Kevin’s. </p><p>When the three of them sprawled on the giant leather sofa to binge watch the Harry Potter movies one Sunday afternoon - <em> how had their idiot never seen them? </em> -  Kevin had only lasted through two of them before he’d stood, leaned down to kiss each of them, gave Andrew a significant look, and then bid them goodnight. </p><p>Neil agreed he wasn’t sleepy yet, so Andrew queued up the third movie - the best one, in Andrew’s opinion - but he was quickly distracted by Neil, who was stealing looks at him and not paying attention to Hermione and her time-turner at all. </p><p>“Staring,” Andrew said, shoving at Neil’s bare foot, which was propped up near him on the couch, “and not at the movie.”</p><p>“No,” Neil agreed, his voice low and throaty, “not at the movie.”</p><p>Andrew hummed a little at that <em> tone, </em> and turned towards Neil, who was already crawling towards him, his face intent. <em> Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.  </em></p><p>“Andrew, I want to kiss you, yes or no?”</p><p>Andrew was unmoored by this pipedream, this gorgeous idiot staring at his mouth like he would devour him, and he just gazed at Neil for a frozen moment. “Yes,” he finally said.</p><p>Neil leaned in then, paused. “Where can I put my hands?” he asked. </p><p>Fuck, a gorgeous pipedream that <em> listened</em>. “My shoulders,” he said, and Neil did listen - resting those deceptively strong hands on his shoulders before covering Andrew’s mouth with his own and Neil’s lips were hungry and demanding and hot, <em> this was so hot, </em>and Andrew pushed back against Neil, grabbing his wrists from his shoulders so he could lean him back against the couch, climb on top of him, press him into the leather, devour him, and he did - biting at Neil’s lower lip, sucking it in between his teeth like he had wanted to for months, swallowing the moan that Neil gave him, feeling Neil’s cock press against his and he was hard - fuck he was suddenly so hard and this was way, way too fast. </p><p>He pulled back a little and Neil chased after his lips, but Andrew released Neil’s wrists and put a hand to his chest and pressed their foreheads together, catching his breath and his heartbeat. </p><p>Neil stilled beneath him, “Is it...did I do something wrong?” he asked quietly. </p><p>“Hush,” Andrew said, “everything is fine.” </p><p>Andrew lifted his head and looked down at <em> their </em> idiot - he was flushed, his pupils a bit blown, and Andrew could feel him still hard against his thigh. <em> Fuckity fuck fuck, hello Neil, look at you</em>. </p><p>Andrew chuckled a little. “Thought any more about those boundaries?” </p><p>Neil’s brow furrowed. “What boundaries?” </p><p>“Yeah, exactly. This is a conversation we need to have with Kevin present.” Andrew leaned back in and kissed him, hard, and then forced himself to pull back. </p><p>“Okay, yeah,” Neil agreed, closing his eyes for a minute and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. </p><p>“Stop that,” Andrew growled. “Sit up and appreciate Hermione Granger for the goddess she is.” </p><p>“I thought this movie was about Harry Potter.” Neil pulled himself upright, but he still looked a little dazed. </p><p>Andrew grinned at that. “Oh, but you have so much to learn.”</p><p>IX.</p><p>The third time - well, the third time it was Andrew kissing Neil, and it was so much more than a kiss.</p><p>The truth is, Andrew noticed everything, whether he wanted to or not. He’d seen Kevin expand, become a whole other being when they’d joined the Wolverines, when he’d found himself with Neil again. </p><p>Andrew had noticed how soft they were with each other, how even before their fated kiss, Neil had unabashedly given Kevin the comfort that he needed, the full body touch that Andrew couldn’t. </p><p>If it had been five years ago, even three years ago, his jealousy might have become a rage, a rage fueled from the pain of not being able to give Kevin something he needed. But in the darkest nights, the sleepless nights, Andrew had admitted to himself the real truth: that Kevin couldn’t give him something he needed as well. </p><p>Andrew noticed everything, so, well, he had also <em> noticed </em> Neil - his lean muscles, those stunning cheekbones, that ridiculous <em> hair, </em>those arctic blue eyes that studied and followed and watched Kevin. Andrew had noticed Neil’s yearning and he had noticed Kevin’s yearning...and fuck, Andrew had noticed his own. </p><p>So he had let it play out, and it took his junkies almost a year to figure things out, and even though Andrew noticed everything, even though Andrew had hoped...he couldn’t have hoped for this. He couldn’t have dreamed of this. He couldn’t deserve this. </p><p>Andrew was spiraling, and Kevin didn’t notice everything like Andrew did - but Kevin did notice Andrew. </p><p>“What happened?” Kevin murmured after he had found Andrew on the balcony of their condo watching the sunrise. His boyfriend dropped a throw blanket over his shoulders and handed him a mug of hot chocolate.</p><p>Case number one of things he didn’t deserve: Kevin. Oh, he was spiraling. </p><p>Andrew gathered himself as best as he could, leaned his shoulder into Kevin’s arm, sipped the hot chocolate. </p><p>“Neil happened,” he said cryptically, speaking more to himself than to Kevin. </p><p>Kevin hummed quietly. It took him a minute, but finally he asked, “What does that mean for you?”</p><p>Andrew set the mug down on the window sill and turned towards him, looked up into his face, and Kevin’s gaze was steady back at him, and Andrew was stunned to see their years together reflected back to him warmly in those grass green eyes. </p><p>“It means something I can have with him that I can’t have with you,” Andrew said. He reached up and pressed into Kevin’s cheek - grounding himself in the warmth beneath his fingers. “It means I need to really know that you are okay with this.”</p><p>Kevin’s eyes widened, reading the meaning in Andrew’s words. “I am more than okay with it,” he said with a small laugh, “<em>that </em> is literally why I left you two on the couch last night.” He paused, and then sighed. “I mean, fine - yes there is a part of me that wishes I could give you those things. But the bigger part of me is just...I’m happy. For all of this.”</p><p>Andrew watched him for any hint of a lie, but his eyes were still clear, still open, still honest. He turned away to look back out over the sunrise, at the clouds that were striated across the sky and the soft blue of day. He felt… he <em> felt</em>. </p><p>“Neil also gives you something you can’t have with me,” Andrew said. Not a question. </p><p>“Yes,” Kevin said beside him. </p><p>Andrew took his time, gathered himself, turned to look at Kevin again. This was not his strength, but it was important, something he needed to make clear. “Kevin. You know what you give me, right?” he asked quietly.</p><p>Kevin gazed back at him, waiting. </p><p>Andrew’s long dead heart pushed at him breathing words, too many words. Andrew had never been able to use that many words. “You chose me,” he said, “that will always be everything.” He couldn’t say - <em> I have only ever been thrown away, left behind, discarded. </em> Until <em> you. </em></p><p>Kevin’s eyes were shining in the growing light. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. They both turned to the sun again.</p><p>After many moments, the sliding door behind them opened. Andrew turned to see Neil peeking out, his hair out of control, his eyes hooded with sleep. He smiled, and Andrew’s zombie heart fluttered at him again, pushing words, so many words. Instead he just said, “Come here.”</p><p>Neil shuffled across the balcony, stifling a yawn through his smile, snuggling up against Kevin, his back pressed into Kevin’s front and Kevin wrapped his arms around Neil and sighed in contentment. Looking at them, Andrew’s heart tried to crawl through his ribcage.</p><p>Andrew stepped close to them, put a hand on Kevin’s cheek to slide his thumb along the tattoo - soaking up the warm smile Kevin gave him. He pressed his other hand into the back of Neil’s neck, leaned in, looked for the yes in Neil’s eyes, and kissed him.</p><p>“Do we really get to have this?” Kevin asked quietly, wonderingly.</p><p>“We get to try,” Andrew said, and his heart whispered, <em> promise. </em></p><p>
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